I am so proud of the work you are doing- that INNER work. Yes, I know, it’s a work in progress, but you are trying your hardest and that’s all that counts. It’s super frustrating when you keep running into the same triggers (without even really knowing what some of them are)- and especially when they seem to make us behave against our values. Ever feel like a detective trying to comb back through your day and pinpoint the exact thing, person, or circumstance that set you off? Just the fact that are you doing THAT is actually AWESOME and super self-aware. You are learning how to use regret to reset.
We make plans and set intentions, but it seems our environment always intervenes somewhere at some point in the day. Work takes us away from our routine, we end up binge watching Netflix too late, or our phone goes off and we get distracted from the task at hand. It’s easy to think we have no control over these circumstances, but I HIGHLY DISAGREE. We aren’t victims of our circumstances. We are victims of our EXCUSES. We are all dealt different cards, it how we CHOOSE TO PLAY THEM that determines our outcome.
If this resonates with you, you are likely experiencing some type of regret right now. You keep playing over in your mind the things you have actually done, vs the things you SHOULD have done. But instead of sitting with that tension, you avoid it, and RATIONALIZE it by telling yourself “I’ve made poor choices, but they’ve made me who I am today- lets move on.” Sure, you can use that as a form of self-protection against your FOMO. In fact many people use this reasoning, because it’s socially acceptable to have regret and make mistakes (that’s how we learn, right), but babe, ARE YOU LEARNING? ARE YOU CHANGING?
I have a different stance. When we make poor choices, hurt others, ourselves, neglect our self-care we SHOULD FEEL BAD! I think the sting of that pain and regret is a powerful emotion that can help facilitate personal growth and radical change. I’ve seen it in my own life, as well with hundreds of my students. Ask God to use this current pain to help you move closer to the woman you want to be, AND turn your regret into resolution.
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