I cried like 5 times today…🙃 Grief, guilt, loss yeah they were there…
But I also:
-learned more about myself
-crossed off my to do’s
-and even washed my hair
Today was a good day- but also, not all of my “good” days are this good.
I’ve had to do a TON of work to get back to this point after what I thought was me “having it all”… and I will continue doing the work every day to keep moving forward.
Something that has really helped accelerate this process is learning how to FORGIVE myself. I didn’t realize how much guilt and shame I walked away with after internalizing that things were “my fault” for years. I don’t know if the following list resonates with you, but these are just some of the examples of things myself and my students are working to forgive themselves for so they can move forward with their lives after grief & loss:
Being the “fit” girl who lost her routine and gained weight.
Being the recovered girl who relapsed. Again.
Being the wife who couldn’t save the marriage.
Being the woman who will never know motherhood.
Being the mom that had it all together, and lost herself.
Being the “boss babe” that burned out.
Being the friend that lost touch.
Being the daughter who felt she never measured up.
Being a human in survival mode.
You did the best with what you had and what you knew at the time.
There is no timeline to your healing or grief, but you CAN choose to forgive and love yourself NOW.
If that feels hard, it’s ok.
Maybe ask why it feels hard?
Why are you not deserving of forgiveness?
Who taught you what is forgive-able and what is not?
Don’t let your mind lie to you and tell you you’re alone in this, you’re too far gone, or no one would be able to understand you.
ALSO- IN CASE NO ONE TOLD YOU RECENTLY,
You’ve handled some really, really hard stuff (probably most of it alone) – and you’re exhausted.
So if you can’t forgive yourself today, try again tomorrow, and the day after that.
Because you do deserve to heal.
You deserve to feel hope and joy again.
You deserve to get healthier and happier.
And, P.S., you can still hate every second of it because it hurts like hell. Your efforts are no less valid based on your emotions.
Keep fighting that voice.
There is support available to you right NOW.
And you DO deserve it.
Please share with anyone who may also need this reminder.💖 Feeling called to dig deeper? I’ve create a grief & loss survey just for you.