How To Say “No” Without Feeling Guilty
Attention people- pleasers!
How many of your current struggles would be resolved if you started saying “NO” to the things, people and experiences that aren’t serving you?
Are you afraid of rejection? Are you worried your social life will crumble? Scared you’ll become a ‘burden’ who is ‘difficult’ to be around?
These are a few concerns my clients come to me with. And I get it!
You’re fine sticking to your healthy habits on your own, but when you’re around certain people or environments you start second guessing yourself and freaking out about defending your choices.
Why It’s Important To Say “No”
Learning how to say “no” to people, things and experiences that aren’t in your best interests or don’t make you truly happy is a great example of setting healthy boundaries in your life.
Putting yourself in toxic or triggering situations, especially early on in your journey, can lead to lingering tension and trauma. This can be stressful enough, not to mention those of you who are trying to heal, move on, and make healthier decisions.
It doesn’t have to be like that.
When I was making my own lifestyle changes a few years ago, I found myself in many uncomfortable situations where I KNEW saying “no” was in my best interest, but it was SUPER hard to actually say it!
I had three options:
- I could say yes because I felt bad saying no, and end up feeling miserable because of it.
- I could say no and worry I’d hurt someone else’s feelings.
- I could respectfully say “thanks but no thanks” and choose not to feel bad about it.
Number three takes some practice, so here’s a quick guide to saying “no” politely while still getting your point across.
How To Say “No” Without Feeling Rude
“I appreciate the offer but no thank you.”
“Do what makes you happy, I’m content as it is, thanks.”
“I get your point, but can we find another topic to discuss please?”
“I get you’re just trying to have fun, but (x) is actually not fun for me.”
“I’m more than happy to hang, but I won’t be doing (x).”
“Is there a different activity we could try instead?”
“I’m really focused on making healthier choices right now and (x) doesn’t align with that.”
“I just don’t like the way (x) makes me feel.”
“I can’t give you an answer right now, can you check back with me later?”
Yes, it IS possible to say “no” respectfully without hurting someone’s feelings!
Save this list and review it the next time you start feeling anxious about choosing what’s best for YOU.
Because babe, letting others (and yourself!) overstep your boundaries is a toxic habit keeping you stuck.
If you’re still feeling anxious about social situations then repeat after me:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“I am not responsible for regulating other people’s feelings”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“I do not owe anyone an explanation”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“All I owe anybody is love and kindness”
At the end of the day – if someone truly cares about you, they will adapt to and understand your boundaries.
Learning how to set healthy boundaries with yourself, in other relationships, and during day-to-day events is one of THE most important lessons in our Lifestyle Redesign 12-week group coaching course.
Enrollment for LRD 2.0 is now OPEN.
If you’re ready to feel empowered and in control of your life, build your self-esteem, and most importantly, create space for yourself so you can guard your energy, then click here to learn more and apply!
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